for the first time, Lindsey and I talked about the fact that I really am moving, as she's been denying that fact. We cried, I second guessed my decision. Sometimes I don't feel like I have the right to ever leave. She has a support system in my mother, but my mother, she likes to play the devil's advocate there. Face it Kris, Lindsey's husband is a nogoodnick who deserves no empathy. commiserate unconditionally when i'm gone, as that's what she needs. someone to validate her frustrations which are real if you've seen how he is. I wish sometimes that he were dead, and I'm not going to take that back. so many things i'd say to him if I knew that he wouldn't turn around and take it out of my sister. Physically, he's never done a thing. But he's made my best friend an emotional and mental wreck. How many times have I heard her in tears tell me earnestly that she is going crazy. Oh. the things I would do to you.

Through tears she told me that she was being selfish, and that she knows that there's not much reason for me to stay here.