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Hollow-Holler

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2004-02-22 - 11:43 p.m.

Just heard my parents whispering and giggling together in their bedroom, and feeling very grateful that they are my parents.

Don't think that I could ask for much more in the way of marital examples. I am not afraid of marriage, because I know that it can be a very satisfying union. Also, not dillusional, because I see that it is v. hard work.

My parents bicker, my dad's real stubborn, in the same moment, my mother's brow relaxes, she smiles, and calls my dad a name. My dad shrugs like, you know i'm an idiot, sure, thanks for not beating or divorcing me. Perhaps I am biased. But I see my father as the instigator of all their conflicts, if there ever are any. Even stranger this blame I place, as I see myself as my father. He and I are so similar it's a fright. I love to hear him tell my stories to other people, like today when he was telling some friends of his the story of my atroscious Oregon speeding ticket, and how he told it just as I would have, exaggerating in all the right parts. He's my defender to the end. He won't let me take no shit from nobody. And where my mother shows apathy in matters that she has relatively no grasp on, my papa understands. I'm feeling depressed and don't know why? Mom tells me to go for a jog, father understands and let's me cry in dark corners. I'm being picked on? Mother says it's something I must have done, unintentionally, so just apologize and have done. Papa tells me to slash their tires. I'd never admit this though, i'll say: "oh, you have no idea, dad." and he'll say "yes, you feel like this, right?" and i'll remain in silence as he unfurls my darkest thoughts across our laps for us to study. Oh, he knows. Damn it, he knows. I'm looking at the future. Which means I should search for a mate like my mother, right? Weird.

Compatability cont...