I am knitting a tiny red short for my sister's unborn summer baby. It will have a red and white polka-dotted cinch satin ribbon cinch, and two holes from which the child's legs shall dangle freely.

I was singing along to a song by Mistress Bjork in my car, today, and while forming the word: 'Scand-anavian' I looked to the right of me at the stop light, and a woman appeared to be singing the word 'Scand!' into her cell phone as well. Such an instant pleasure for me, to make a connection like that. Even if it is probably all imagined, in this case.

My mother was picked on, today. I want to hurt these 'ladies'. These old geese. Leave my paunchy, and her friends alone!