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Hollow-Holler

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2004-04-18 - 1:31 a.m.

I know that I want bjork's 'undo' played sometime during my funeral, possibly my viewing. If I have a viewing, anyways. My death could be messy, and viewings aren't always called for. For an example, my friend Danny Floyd, who was a part of the Floyd family friends, whom we vacationed with to the Oregon Coast. I think that he was the first boy who I really wanted to kiss, like the first boy with whom it seemed practical and legitimate. But they moved away, and I didn't see him until he shot himself in the head. His was the only funeral that I have ever attended, and I saw that there were crowds of people in one of the rooms adjacent to the chapel where the service would be held. I wandered in, and nearly doubled over at the sight of the open coffin. I couldn't believe this was the open coffined type of funeral! This was a type of death that you didn't want to be reminded of. I wanted to imagine that he had nodded off peacefully in the garage where they found him. That maybe he had just passed out from the fumes he had been huffing from a can, just before he did it. His face was heavily made up, but it didn't cover up all of that tell-tale bruising on the right side of his face. I pictured him with a gun in his mouth, and I remembered how they had discovered Danny in the attic of the garage, because his little brother remarked that there was red paint mysteriously dripping down through the ceiling, and so I also pictured his bled-dry veins. I had never seen a dead body, and haven't seen one since. I did not want to see Danny's body. But, I do want 'Undo' played at my funeral.

to whom it may concern.