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Hollow-Holler
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2004-06-16 - 2:18 p.m.
I am thinking a lot about how I was probably my truest and happiest self round about 10 years old. I would like to get back to that, then. What was I at 10? I read, constantly. I played a lot of scram ball. I had many acquaintances. I wore flannel shirts. I was not conscious of my looks. I watched a lot of television. I mastered new piano pieces, rather than playing old comfortable ones. I didn't spend money. I learned new things. I need to take back my 10 year old brain, that was so fierce and thirsty. I thought highly of myself then, I thought that I was very smart. I would boast, and I was competitive. Mostly I miss my convictions. Lately, the proofs that I am still capable of passion come in little pin hole pricks, but they are reassuring, all the same.I don't want to be milquetoast, I want to be toast that is on fire with the flames of the toaster oven! I used to be that way. I am trying to make myself feel better right now, and all I can say is 'Life would be much better if you had a dog, child.'
and I think I am right.
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