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Hollow-Holler

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2004-10-09 - 7:40 p.m.

I can tell that the cloud of depression is starting to dissipate in ways that aren't as detrimental to my well-being as other more pressing symptoms, but it is still promising.
The things that i've noticed:
-my ability to reason, concentrate, memorize, orient myself, and retain information has improved.
-I have felt slightly more motivated. When I see something that needs to be done, I can pretty much do it straightaway without viewing it in terms of insurmountability.
-the things that initially frightened me; i.e. certain fixations, unusually gory day and night dreams, were explained to me recently as a promising manifestation because they represented a sensitivity towards things that I had previously numbed myself towards as a result of my depression.
-I feel I have less nervous energy. I find that I am able to sit in a chair with my arms at my side rather than wringing my hands, or biting my fingernails.
It seems like something in my brain has been balanced to some degree, though it's not as consistent as I would like it to be.

Dicking around.