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Hollow-Holler
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2004-12-05 - 4:57 p.m.
I watched a live basketball game last night. It sounded like a good idea to do it. I used to watch live sports in high school sometimes, and it always felt surreal. And I feel like I should be more into watching organized sports than I am, because I like the idea of what an organized sport is; such a ridiculous concept to pit ourselves against each other for sport and invisible gain and we all like it, and we have loyalties, and we don't think twice. The concept of school spirit is so interesting. What is it? I don't even have a vague grasp on what it must feel like to have it. I want to feel it, I think that it would be elating and simple. It feels strange to be on a college campus where a lot of the people there are younger than me and educationally, more advanced. But I don't feel as bad when I attend something like this and see that college for seemingly many, is like an extension of high school. It's funny the way we group ourselves together according to the impressions we want to make on other people, sometimes. It's been awhile since i've attended something with such a different spectator than I am used to, and it roused the behaviorist in me. The mall has been doing the same thing in a less intense manner. Not condescension or an attempt to simplify human behavior, because I don't think that I will ever understand humans. Where lately, through work, I have been meeting so many new people that I would never meet of my own accord, I am pleased with how many good people I meet, there are hardly any bad. And I am pleased that I am just as pleased to be in the company of a good person, than I am to be in the company of an interesting person. For a while, I have been so insulated, and happiest on my own that I don't feel the need to communicate with other people much. So if I should be in the company of people, it feels nice to be around people with whom, we are just nice to each other and watch out for each other, and there are few expectations past that. Kimberly makes me feel better than almost anybody I know.
When I read it just now I said an earnest prayer in my heart to let it be mine.
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