|
February 27, 2040 - 5:10 As a side-note, very translucent candies are so pretty that I can't eat them. Crystalline, you make me cream. I will pin you to my wall. The point is not candy though, but how I never got to take my driver's license picture, because I failed my Oregon driver's examination. Before I left, everybody said to me, that there's no way I could fail this test. And I said, but what if? "NOOO, you will never fail." The gentleman at the counter told me the same thing. "You WILL not fail, Ms. Jensen." I'm not a bad driver, though others might protest. It's just that I don't know the rules, I rely on intuition to drive my car. I can say that now, only because I have already sobbed out the "I'm too stupid to live"'s in the Pizza Hut next to the DMV. I wept bitter tears of the impotent donkey, and dined on pizza pitifully. I could eat only a little so I did something unwise to my shivering esteem, which is to say I stole pizza from the dine-in only endless buffet. What sort of figure did I cut? Crying at a Pizza Hut, wrapping slices in napkins and smuggling them out through a purse. That's what you did, Rachael. Look at it. I don't want to always default to such irrational extremes when I am dissapointed with myself, or frustrated. For a good part of today, I believed that I was exceptionally slow. Mentally slow. "Too stupid to do anything." When I told Rebecca that "these (failing simple exams, and stealing pizza very sloppily) are the things that will kill me.", she suggested that I have a "mystery-lady flu", that is driving my "Mones crazy." I hope I have the Ladies Flu, and I hope it will go away by the time I'm 26. Grant me the soul steam. Grant me the gifts. Grant me the good dream. Grant me the grits. I say this prayer in the name of my cell-count
|