Photobucket

Hollow-Holler

contact me older entries newest entry

March 02, 2006 - 10:42

This morning there was a tube of saran wrap in my inbox, with instructions to halve and wrap muffins that were stacked in flats in the break room. So that's what I've been doing all morning, and brother the time has flown.
I also got nice and made some espresso shots for folks here in the office, which garnered an e-mail from Dawn with the heading, "I'd like to espress my thanks...." And so it was worth the scalding wheeze of the steam wand on my wrist.
My kindly older gentleman boss has some portion control issues, and is able to project them onto me via my job description. (Not to say that I haven't got my own p.c. issues, certainly.) Hence, the halved muffins, etc.. and the nagging e-mails regarding our depleting refreshment reserves, which are replenished monthly.
This morning: "Please keep at your desk and ration the peanuts and kisses. Please put a few kisses in my jar, but only a few. Gerald is eating all of the ones kept up front, you might want to tell him to take only one at a time. Thanks." It's literally part of my job to moniter the office's communal food consumption, but it's such a personal thing. It makes me uncomfortable. I mean, you can't just shame somebody with, "I'm afraid you've had enough, sir." You know? This morning, I resorted to cheekiness when suggesting that Tom not take another muffin because, "..they are full of propylene glycol! Which is basically anti-freeze. Am I right?"

There are some things that just don't feel good; and playing the role of office snack constable is one of them.