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Hollow-Holler

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June 29, 2006 - 10:55

Survey Alert.
1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Black terry cloth covering the caked on pink paint interior.

2. What would make your perfect partner?
The spawn of Jarvis Cocker and Shelley Duvall.

3. What is your favorite all time sports team?
I�m going to go ahead and say the Detroit Pistons- because my brother got Isiah Thomas� autograph when I was a kid, and I would look at it a lot.

4. What was the last thing you threw up?
Something liquid that I don�t remember.

5. If you smoke - menthol or regular cigaretts?
If I did smoke, I think I�d smoke menthols.

6. What is the last text message you received?
�Breakfast?�

7. Have you ever had a private maid?
Certifiably yes- have I ever told you about my aristocratic upbringing?

8. When was the last time you licked someone?
I�m sure I licked my hand sometime yesterday.

9. What is the last thing you regret purchasing?
A dress that doesn�t fit. I regret most things I buy on E-bay.

10. Whatchu Kno about Dat?
wha..

11. What is the longest flight you have been on?
I don�t know? Probably to New York.

12. What is your favorite episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air?
When Carlton and Will get stuck in a snow bank, it was a sentimental episode. Oh my god there is a butterfly in the office.

13. Say a line from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
�Ferris, do ever wish that life were, you know...different?�
�What do you mean, Stuge?�
�I mean, don�t you ever wish that you could transport yourself�.like all of the sudden..instead of boys, we�re buffalo grazing on the ancient Native American soils- free, unspotted?�
�I don�t know man, there�s this chick running her fingers through my hair right now, and I�m thinking that I don�t want to be anywhere except RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.�
�Ferris, you ground me. I want to skip class..�
�YES!!!! Let�s tell the world our story- but don�t let my sister find out, or we�re ruined!�

Act 2, scene 1

14. Does anyone have any blackmail on you?
Not that they are actively using against me, no.

15. What do you think of Pee Wee Herman?
I want that masturbating luminary to stay away from my children.

16. If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
James Franco, maybe.

17. Have you been to a strip club?
No, but once I saw a stripper practicing her pole routine in daylight hours when I used the bathroom at stripper burrito.

18. Do you like tan lines?
Yes, kind of. I like that they punctuate the areas that are unfit for stranger�s eyes.

19. What is the last bet you lost?
The only bets I can remember making were with Steve Schroeder, and I can�t remember if I lost. One was that I wouldn't eat grapefruit skin. I don�t really make bets.

20. Would you date someone that none of your friends liked?
If they didn�t like him because they had prejudices against the color of his skin, or his physical handicaps, then YES. If they didn�t like him because he was the one that left a trail of battered women in his wake, and notoriously preferred virgins, then NO.

21. Where were you 1 hour ago??
At my desk.

22. Where were you last year this time?
At a desk.

Delayed response.