September 13, 2006 - 10:02
Yesterday I talked to my mom about my "life". She asked me if I had "prayed about it"...I said "sort of," to appease her. But I guess I "sort of" have. I've mumbled vague suppliations. I've removed myself to appeal to the astute, imperturbable person whom I imagine exists somewhere in me, whom I can contact if I go about it in the right way. Of course I've gone through it before, but transition always tries to wreck me.
I wonder if a talk show could give me a makeover to thought process, along with some complimentary schwag would be nice. A sharp suit and maybe a eucalyptus eye mask for my puffs.
I'm going to try very hard not to spiral into frantic mode. I can't actually be hopeless, and in fact I have been pleasing myself with completions of little goals I've been making in the past two days. I don't think in the mindset of goals, but I should. It works to dose me with illusions of capability.
In spurts.