February 05, 2007 - 2:15
"We have cried so much there is nothing left."
I would have sutured my thighs shut for lines less devastating than that.
And I can pretend to understand, but my teen, being a teen, exists in a far more poignant state of agony than any of us. I can begin to reminisce, but tempered with perspective, the truth follows that I don't currently understand.
There is a daydream I have, where I break him of this by hugging him. This hug is so intent that it means something different than just embracing, and I have this feeling it would transmit a haunt of our collective desperation, and he'll understand that he just can't do this anymore, and it will end.
I tried this feeble fantasy out the last time. I believed it worked, but clearly my intuition is royally jammed. But even if they're not magic exorcisims, for my sake all I wish is to be able to hug him for days.
Futile roilings, too sad,