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Hollow-Holler

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October 04, 2007 - 10:50

I have a behavior of tucking my hair down the back of my shirt, partly because it feels good, but also because it gives me the personal illusion/(delusion) that I can sport both long and short hair whenever I want. This has never been recognized by an outside force until now, when Pam (AP) asked me if I had cut my hair!The answer is, no, I haven't- it's just down my turtleneck....success.
I've felt pretty destroyed for the last 3 days. Unusually drained and irritable.
I had to undergo the first personal conversation of this job today. It was broached very matter of factly, and too broadly for comfort.
"Rachael. What is your background?"
"Uh..."
My words wouldn't work for me. During the course of what I tried to keep a sterile conversation, I was frazzled by her intent gaze that seemed to be seeking more information than I wanted to disclose, and I lapsed into sentimentalities about my family and alluded to my general ennui. It sucked. I don't want them to know anything about me, and know she knows the general gist of it all.

"That girl's nervous."