I think it's in part an attempt to disassociate myself from thoughts that seem excessively mopey, or at least try to make an exercise out of them. I wonder if everybody repeats their own thoughts as much as I do.
Brains been a little weird lately.
Last night I was relentlessly aware of it as a mass, existing in my skull. I had some involuntary image projections of a gauzy, mushy mass, grey like brains are supposed to be. Descriptors gauzy and mushy I fixated on, but I couldn't actually think of anything that exists as both gauzy and mushy...maybe some kind of octopus?
By thinking a lot about my brain as a "thing", I also felt very in control of it. I was able to procure a really old memory, just by urging myself to "remember something new". I was also able to keep myself from crying.