Blood Musk

July 16, 2008 - 8:36

A common sensation here is the feeling of small scale hands that know no law or decency. Here they're reaching around your head to press hard on your eyelids, 'til you see spots. Idly up the skirt to pat your thigh. Performing weak interpretations of shiatsu massage when you turn away. Gripping your cheeks roughly with both hands, for no reason other than some proof that you'll pay attention. Since Friday I've been aware that their hands feel strange, always somehow clammy; but I like them, even wishing mine were the same way. (Not clammy, but lawless)
I am currently lounged stupidly, legs propped crossed on this desk, and my left arm laced through them to type. This would have been unthinkable previously, which is why I'm doing it.
I'm also wearing drawstring shorts, which is a bit stupid as well.
Being unemployed and not nervous feels alright.
Last Saturday I just bent in half and hung upside down for a long time. I was looking at the ocean/sky between my legs, and it got to where I didn't know one blue piece from the other, wind tugged my hair in a long standing rhythm, and I actually fell over.

I'll call it fainting.