Blood Musk

March 09, 2010 - 10:12

I'm so grateful now for the obsessive, consumptive way I observed her physical person. Her hands I picture perfectly, tracking new spots each time I saw her. Her hair as well. The texture of the strand. The way the horsiness caught light.
We held hands last night in a state that happens during extreme bereavement that I can only describe as something just shy of hallucination. We both wore her ring. She hovers near me, pets my hair. The feeling of her is so real, born of what feels like an almost supernatural will. I have learned that a human is a remarkable, canny animal in the throes of grief.

Today, and yesterday, have been very hard.