March 09, 2011 - 1:25
I suppose I'm lonely. And adopting that kind of internet intimacy that comes with extended desk jobs.
Speaking of. I am starting to feel like a caged animal. I experience adrenal rushes sometimes in the late afternoon where I feel like I want to take a running leap through the window. (The first floor. Freedom, not fatality.)
This day has been terrible for no particular reason. I woke up with a kill-switch on that I keep trying to turn off with treats and breathing exercises, but it's here to stay til I fall asleep, I guess.
I received a call this morning asking me to pass along the news of a death. I refused to do it.
I wish I could find out how many times I've written "I am full of dread." in this journal over the 7 or so years I've kept it.
I am full of dread.