I am amidst a fog that has lasted two days. To be specific, I am tired, but I can't sleep. When I do, I dream lucidly. My brain is sluggish, then too quick.
This I have self-diagnosed over time as a chemical haze that accompanies change and the prerequisite fear of it.
But the question still stands, why do I fear.
My best guess is that I fear losing "me" to something larger and more important than my own simple urges.
It is, perhaps as simple as a fear of growing out of when I was happiest. A case of Puer Aeternus.
I am really not sure, but I do know that I now have to start this muddled knitting project all over again, from the top.
Anyways, thanks for listening.