November 02, 2011 - 10:06
I took my first midterm this afternoon, and because I was able to without getting caught, I looked at some notes that I had taken earlier in the day that happened to be in my pocket. They weren't notes that gave me any specific answers; just some general musings on the topics, but because I sometimes freeze while taking tests they proved helpful. However, I now feel really, really sick with guilt about it. Nauseous guilt, almost emailing my professor for a retake kind of guilt. I don't even think he would care!
But this kind of crisis is a good example of why I originally began to resist thinking "too much" as a teenager- (which was of course unwise as I can basically pinpoint that attitude as the cause of my eventual mid-20's mental decline)- because it can lead too easily to consumptive worry that I am a "bad person", apprehension about the declining state of the world, and when I am alone a pretty constantly babbling introspection about nothing helpful.
Rachael, you are not a Mormon 16 year old anymore.
:/