1. Diet Pepsi Max:

I am immune to caffeine- HOWEVER, this swill gives me wide eyes. Infused with ginseng...there is no excusing this. I am on it right now.

2. I-skin is probably cool...

I saw Brian Slaughter using this the other day, and advised myself to invest in one soon, because I usually have grubby hands and I'd like to keep my computer white for as long as I'm in debt for it. However, I'm retardedly cheap, so I introduce you to ingenuity:

3. Saran Wrap.

I've had this film on my keyboard AND mouse for about a week now, and I sincerely love it. I don't have to worry about my palms greying up the board, or spilling yogurt on the keys! Do with this information what you will.

4.I've been trying to find decent, reasonably priced black boots for a long time. Decent meaning- no spiky heels and weird bangles, reasonably priced meaning- under $80.00. This is more difficult than one would anticipate, until:

Steve Madden's "Riding".
Just what I want in a foot boot. Flat heel, low ornamentation, loose at the calf and high in the rise, and on sale for $60.00. Plus they zip up the back with a snap, which somehow makes them look less slutty than your average black book. I've been wearing them almost every day because it's been 20 below, and they're so high it's like having a casual pair of leather pants. 10/10.

5. I've been sick all winter, and existing on a steady diet of acetaminophened syrups. Really bad, I know.

This one's special though. The Severe Cold Warming liquid tastes like actual hard alcohol! It will help you forget about all of your real troubles, and possibly cause you to fixate on some that don't exist. Also, if you're anything like me, you will make creative word choices in dialouge.

6. Good God, I don't mean to suggest she's a material good, but:

7. My hands in winter would look like shredded beef if not for:

It's cheap, industrial, and it's not greasy either!

8. Problem: I love marshmallows, but I don't eat gelatin, and the vegan grocery stopped getting them in!

SOLUTION.

9. The other day, I was thinking about how much I dislike it when people in offices use the word "perfect". They do it all the time. Every compromise they have to make is met with "That's perfect!" But really they're actually pissed. Maybe nobody knows what I'm talking about, but that said, Dalecarlia Chocolate Horses, taste perfect. To me.

I couldn't find an image of the flavor I've been dosing myself with daily since Christmas...I have the Caramel Truffle variety, which actually doesn't taste like American's caramel at all, but more like the placenta of a baby saint, or fondant.

10. Last but not least: