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January 18, 2006 - 9:54 I am like ancient man, who without refrigerators, saw no longevity in sight. Only what they would eat that day, and I live paycheck to paycheck. Or maybe, what I have is warden to death row inmate relationship with myself. With the mentality that actions towards "long-terms" are hollow, I seek to comfort myself immediately and simply. And I give myself the comforts frankly, with the purpose of solace in mind. I would admonish this mentality in somebody that I cared for, it's demobilizing, and not okay. But I'm flush with the idea that once I die it won't matter what I did, as long as I don't bring any successors into the mix. I'm just lazy, is what it is. So lazy that I will work industriously, without purpose, rather than take steps towards realizing aspirations that seem dubious to me. Anyways.
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